Hands of Little Shepherd

Father’s Day

Whether you have a earthly dad in your life or not we can all celebrate Father’s Day! I know someone who tells everyone that she has 5 dads…. Her 1st dad is her biological dad who she has never met; Her 2nd dad had adopted her; after He passed, her adopted mother remarried and she was adopted by a 3rd dad; she is now married and now has another dad, and most importantly to her is her Father in Heaven who has also adopted her…
You see it looks different for each of us and some may have pain, scares, baggage that needs to be worked through or released. However, Father’s day looks for you whether you have 1, 2, or more Dads in your life that you get to celebrate on this day. Don’t forget to take time to say THANK YOU to all the dads in your life but also to the Dad who gave you life in more way than one…and the gift of enteral life. The one who calls you His Dearly Loved Child!

Baptism Testimony November 12, 2017:

Hello,
My name is Hannah:

I would like each of you to take a moment and think about this question…

When you look at the cross what do you imagine God is saying to you? For years I have lived believing the lies told to me by my dad and others. For years my view of what God has thought about me was not things He said about me. I thought He thought I was ugly, I’m not smart, I was stupid, I was in the way, I just could not do anything right, and the list goes on. I also saw Him yelling at me, disappointed, and ignoring me. Now these maybe things that have happened to me in my life by others; causing me to view God the same way. Because I wanted so much to be loved, wanted, or have positive approval. I would do what I needed to do to try and succeed. My outside was good. However, my inside was a mess. God has been working on me from a young age… I grew up attending church. I knew all the answers yet I could not give up control and trust God to carry me through. Time and time again I would spiral, and then work to get out of the hole. But I would continue deeper into the hole seeing no worth in myself or my life. Because I felt I needed to be the one to win people and God I would try and try to succeed but time and time again I just could not do it. In the summer of 2016, I would spiral yet again. This time I sought help. I was not rejected or looked down upon. I was shown love, grace, and compassion. I struggled to understand this and at times even except it. Taking a couple months to think about this in September 2016, I would write a forgiveness letters to those I have been hurt by. The last one was to God.

It is a daily struggle of handing over control and handing the lies over to God. But it is so freeing, and He is making something beautiful out of the ugly. The last couple years have been amazing. They have been vary hard and it has not been easy but I am free, happy, loved, and cared for. As I grow in my knowledge and understanding of God and in faith it is so beautiful and freeing. Now when I look at the cross I imagine God saying to me in a gentle, kind, and loving way: “Hannah I am so proud of you and I love you so vary much. Keep coming to me and I will give you peace and rest.” I struggle sometimes to remember this but I know now THAT I AM A BELOVED CHILD OF GOD AND HE WANTS ME SO VERY MUCH!

It has been said that it is impossible to forgive a man who deliberately hurts you for the sole purpose of destroying you or lowering you. If this be true, you have but one hope: to see this unfair hurt as coming by permission from God for the purpose of lifting your stature above that place where formerly you stood. – Gene Edwards 

Luke 9:23-24 (NLT) “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hold on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.

Dad:

(One of the people I wrote a forgiveness letter to in my journal in September of 2016, was my dad…)

Dad,

You have hurt me so deep. Being punished for things not my fault, yelled at, cut down, humiliated in front of people, yelled at, never able to do anything right, and so much more. I want to believe that you love me, but I just do not know. This has hurt me a great deal in my relationship with God. I do not understand love well… Always scared, I am always scared of if I am going to disappoint and make you mad again I have done this with God as well. I am learning that these along with many other things from your life are lies. Dad, I FORGIVE YOU and I LOVE YOU!

Love and Blessings from your daughter,
Hannah J. Cushman

NOTE:
A year to the day after my baptism November 12, 2018 my dad’s dad (my grandpa) suddenly passed away.
(On November 18, 2018 my dad wrote this letter. I did not see or receive it till he mailed it to me a few mouths later.)

To My Daughter:

Dear Hannah,

Thank you for being my daughter. I want to tell that I love you so that you know if anything should come up. It is very difficult for me right now since I didn’t take the last opportunity with your grandpa Cushman to tell him that I loved him, since I have never told him that I love him and he never told me that he loved me. I know that when you were younger he did not like you much same as when I was a child. That is why it bothers me that dad has died and not knowing if he loved me and why I want to tell you that I love you.

Love,
Dad

Dads play a huge role in our lives… From being a part of our creation, to role modals, to influencers, to teachers and mentors that whether we realize it or not are shaping us and our life and our outlook on things… My beginning is a little rough and it did effected my view of my Heavily Father.

BUT THAT IS NOT THE ENDING!!!!

God is healing and building a relationship between Him and me! AND between my dad and me!
One way that relationship is being healed is through my dog Kaloo…. I see my dad doing things with my dog to expresses his love for me and although he does not know how to verbalize it Kaloo (dog) is able in his own way to love and let people be themselves and let them start to heal. My dad will take Kaloo for walks, car rides, or buy treats and that is one way my dad is learning to love, to show love, and heal….

I am learning as well the beauty of forgiveness, grace, love, second chances whether from my biological earthly dad, my dad that has and still is a mentor me, and my Heavenly Father!

So today, on Fathers Day as you thank and spend time with the dads in your life. Do Not Forget to take a moment and thank your Father in Heaven who calls you His:

DEARLY LOVED CHILD!

1 John 3:1a
See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! 

Psalms 103:13
As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

Oswald Chambers
“The secret of Christian quietness is not indifference, but the knowledge that God is my Father, He loves me, I shall never think of anything He will forget, and worry becomes an impossibility.”

SPECAIL THANK YOU TO MY DADS TODAY!

John C., Gary M., and My Heavenly Father (JESUS)